For those who are stay at home moms, we know the stir crazy feeling we all may get when it’s just us and our tornado chaos toddlers or newborns. From never-ending laundry baskets and dirty cloths to the Lego walk of doom, we end up in a small runt. I know when I first started staying at home I felt alone and surrounded by four walls that didn’t give much light. I craved to be out of the house often and hated indoors. Then when the husband gets home we pawn the munchkins off for a few seconds of time for us to be alone before they call every three seconds asking what do they need to do.
Here are some ways I tried to stay sane while staying at home! It isn’t always easy but sometimes it’s worth it, I don’t know if these will work for you but I am willing to share just in case it can help.
The first thing I what to advise is find someone to talk to other than your husband or family member! Find a group on Facebook or even a group from school or church you can connect with. Sending a small text saying “hi what’s new with you?” to a friend can help keep contact with the outside world and not feel so alone. Talking with adults other than toddlers helps too.
Otherwise you find yourself talking to the dog when the kids are down for a nap and the neighbor looks at you like you need help. As funny as that sounds it’s not trust me! It’s better to have that one friend to keep you in the loop of what’s happening outside in the daylight than to be alone.
Laugh At The Small Stuff
It is always better to laugh at the small stuff than get angry. Easier said than done I know! There are times my children do somethings that I want to yell at them for but I have found those things are so small and can be corrected rather than wasting my energy fighting over it. Using mommies makeup on her doll or letting the dog eat the entire jar of peanut butter are just some examples my children have done but didn’t yelled at because it isn’t necessary, I laugh at myself and at the situation then explain that’s a no no. Later when you look back at it you will feel better knowing you laughed at it than yelled.
There are many times I have wanted to yell at my kids for a lot of things, I often still do because I don’t remind myself that they are small situations that don’t need to have wasted energy on.
Your Not Failing
You are not a failure, just know that! You parent in different ways than what everyone else does. You are an awesome mother, OK so you eat gluten-free, or you eat meat, or you use cloth nappies vs disposable, you are a good mother! Suppose you breast feed over bottle feed that’s OK. Unless your physically harming your kids….(which I hope some aren’t) then you are amazing!
Being a parent is hard but it’s worth it! Repeat and breath, do meditation on this, you are super mom because you are not giving up!
Clean When YOU Can
Don’t over exert yourself cleaning! A messy house is OK. Not a disgustingly unlivable situation but messy as in you can tell people live there, NOT it’s so clean you can’t touch anything. Take a break from folding to play fort with your babies, or hide and seek. Don’t always worry about the house, because you miss out on the good stuff! My house is usually a mess, but it’s livable, dishes are clean and laundry is somewhat done! Food is made and the kids are alive.
I remember being told clean when the babies are asleep then being told sleep when the baby sleeps. So two things conflicting each other and being looked at like crap either way. So clean when YOU can at YOUR own pace!
Make a game out of everything! If you are cleaning, have them clean with you! Grab a squirt bottle with water in it and have they clean the windows. If you’re wanting to eat cake then play hide and seek, have them go first to hide so you can eat alone. I have tried to make a game out of everything. It doesn’t always work especially with my daughter because she just pouts if it isn’t her way or figures it out a head of time. She is quick on her feet like that.
However have fun with it! Don’t always be a stickler and all house work and no play, the kids honestly have fun too when they can be involved in what you do.
I am just now getting use to the idea of going to the park or out on the patio for some outside fun. I as a mom of three, I always dread going outside in the wide open area’s for my wild trio to run around and
get kidnapped (with a mom of anxiety I always fear the worst). I hover when I am at the park by myself and I don’t mean hover in the good way. However we have a small park by our house that is perfect, small, and easy to keep and eye on my two younger ones while the oldest rides his bike around the very small park down the hall from our door. My youngest is just now getting to the age of knowing fully the wonders of outside and wanting to enjoy it.
I let them play on the patio with a bucket of water, chalk, magic sand, putty (which I highly despise) and other fun things. They enjoy the sunshine while in a contained area of my apartment and I get peace while attempting to clean the house.
PLAY DATES FOR OUR SAKE
I always thought that play-dates where for the kids sake, learning to socializing which it is but I hence have learned that it’s for mommy’s sake to. Organize a play-date for an hour with someone you know, they don’t have to have kids but tell them to meet up with you while you are at the park or mall walking around that way your Staying Connected and having Outside Fun.
If you are like many of people who I know, including me at times, that have those kind of kids that; don’t listen all the time, scream bloody murder if they get cranky, or act out in public. I would say at least try some of these. Maybe work around it have a play-date in your home, or have the husband watch the kids when he is OK with it and have a girls night for a couple of hours. There is always ways around things. It’s not always easy.
I never reach the end of the laundry pile, but it means I take time to be with my minions. I love going out in public but not always with my kids in fear of kidnappers (because my daughter is not the brightest bulb in the box at times) and majority of the time because she is very strong willed and independent.
So for today remember breath, know its OK and that you’re not alone! Message me if you need some one to talk to I always try to be there for someone who need to talk.